This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This is the high leading the old right now
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
