you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
