yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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