"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
