How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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