maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
