I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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