I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
its liver damage thursday
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