I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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