At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
