I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize