you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
