I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
