Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
