Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
