I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
