just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
