i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
