Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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