It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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