I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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