Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My cat gives me a boner
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
