Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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