Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
