Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize