Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
