If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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