i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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