your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
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Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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