I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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