if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
