yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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