Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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