I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize