well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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