he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
