I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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