so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
