New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
