Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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