The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
