3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
