I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
