I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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