do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
