from now on my penis is your penis
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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