Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
