Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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