I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
