New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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