no, he came in my armpit
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
