matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
