hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i dont even know how to be here
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
