Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
