The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
