Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
