then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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