I feel like I'm in dance class right now
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
