'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
