There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
