I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
