if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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