im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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