in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
