11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
