I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
