First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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