So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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