i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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