Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
