atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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