we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
