she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
