oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
