Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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